Sylent Skull
02-07-2003, 09:26 PM
AL QAEDA HOLDS CAMEL WASH TO RAISE FUNDS FOR NEXT ATTACK ON AMERICA!
By AHMET FAROUK
SHABWA, Yemen -- Desperate Al Qaeda fighters have borrowed from a time-honored American tradition to raise money for their next cowardly assault on the U.S. -- by running a camel wash service!
CIA agents in the area confirm that the men running the camel wash are vicious Al Qaeda terrorists who fled from Afghanistan. But Yemeni locals are praising the fanatic fund-raisers for a job well done.
"Before Al Qaeda came around, I used to have to wash my camel with my own two hands," says Abu al-Nafeesa, a Yemeni tour guide who puts 100 miles worth of sand and grime on his dromedary each day.
"Now I can let others do the dirty work, instead of being spit on or kicked by my camel."
The camel wash is run by a team of 10 to 15 Al Qaeda, who hand-wash and towel-dry close to 50 of the animals per day.
A CIA operative who poses as a regular customer explains, "It's no secret that the 'War On Terror' has left Al Qaeda financially crippled, but what they are doing here is downright pathetic," says the agent, who spoke under condition of anonymity.
"They're out there scrubbing away like a high school cheerleading squad. They even have soap and water fights from time to time.
"Naturally, the U.S. is opposed to any activity that raises funds in the name of terrorism, so we will be shutting them down.
"We'll send all these camel-cleaners to our terrorist prison camp in Cuba. But first, we want to show the world what Osama's big bad Jihad warriors have been reduced to."
The camel-washers remain blissfully ignorant of their impending shutdown.
One cheerful employee chirps, "Bring in your beast. We'll bust our humps to get it clean."
Published on: January 17, 2003
By AHMET FAROUK
SHABWA, Yemen -- Desperate Al Qaeda fighters have borrowed from a time-honored American tradition to raise money for their next cowardly assault on the U.S. -- by running a camel wash service!
CIA agents in the area confirm that the men running the camel wash are vicious Al Qaeda terrorists who fled from Afghanistan. But Yemeni locals are praising the fanatic fund-raisers for a job well done.
"Before Al Qaeda came around, I used to have to wash my camel with my own two hands," says Abu al-Nafeesa, a Yemeni tour guide who puts 100 miles worth of sand and grime on his dromedary each day.
"Now I can let others do the dirty work, instead of being spit on or kicked by my camel."
The camel wash is run by a team of 10 to 15 Al Qaeda, who hand-wash and towel-dry close to 50 of the animals per day.
A CIA operative who poses as a regular customer explains, "It's no secret that the 'War On Terror' has left Al Qaeda financially crippled, but what they are doing here is downright pathetic," says the agent, who spoke under condition of anonymity.
"They're out there scrubbing away like a high school cheerleading squad. They even have soap and water fights from time to time.
"Naturally, the U.S. is opposed to any activity that raises funds in the name of terrorism, so we will be shutting them down.
"We'll send all these camel-cleaners to our terrorist prison camp in Cuba. But first, we want to show the world what Osama's big bad Jihad warriors have been reduced to."
The camel-washers remain blissfully ignorant of their impending shutdown.
One cheerful employee chirps, "Bring in your beast. We'll bust our humps to get it clean."
Published on: January 17, 2003